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<>The
soldier stands in his living room eyeing all the cool soldier stuff he
never got to use in a real fight. Like the helmet with not a single
ding and the sleek body armor with not a scuff. The gear piles high on
the carpet. |
First
Lt. Ehren
Watada is giving it all back and, out of courtesy, packing it up. The
Army had treated him with the utmost respect until the moment it
decided to court-martial him. It was nothing personal. The Army does
what it has to do.
Just
as Watada
himself did what he felt he had to do seven months ago when he became
the first — and only — commissioned officer in the United States to
publicly refuse deployment to Iraq.
His
conscience,
he said, had overtaken him. He told the world what he had privately
told his superiors months earlier: that he believed the war was illegal
and immoral, and he would play no role in it.
Watada
tried to
resign; the Army respectfully denied him. He said he was willing to
fight in Afghanistan; the Army refused him again — a soldier can't pick
and choose where he fights. As his unit shipped off to Iraq, Watada
stayed to face the consequences.
Thousands
of GIs
have gone AWOL or voiced opposition to the Iraq war, but when an
officer says he won't go, the whole military machine must take note. It
means dissent has crept up the chain of command, potentially
undermining the war effort.
The
Army felt
compelled to respond forcefully, charging Watada, 28, with one count of
failure to deploy and four (later reduced to two) counts of "conduct
unbecoming" for making public statements against the war and against
the Bush administration. His court-martial begins today at Ft. Lewis,
15 miles north of here.
Watada
ponders
the prospect of spending four years in military prison, and he muses on
his spiral from exemplary military man to reviled antiwar poster boy.
"Life
has been … " He laughs nervously and shakes his head, searching for
words. "A little abnormal."
His living room,
like the rest of the apartment complex, feels boxy and new and
unmistakably inexpensive — made for function rather than form. A
balcony looks out at a parking lot crowded with pickups and SUVs.
In
the middle of
the room he stands in stocking feet, wearing baggy fatigues like
pajamas, hands on hips. He's deciding where to begin the packing. When
all the world seemed chaotic, it made sense to organize. Should he
start with his barely mussed chemical suit or his spotless all-weather
traction-control camouflage boots?
His
smooth brown
face is boyish and devoted, like a child inspecting his most precious
toys. He's not a small man, but not big either. Certainly not as big as
the Rushmore-sized symbol he's become to the antiwar movement, which
hails him as nothing less than an American hero.
But
he also bears
no sign of the sniveling qualities ascribed him by pro-war groups that
have branded him a coward. One syndicated columnist posted Watada's
Army photo on her website with the caption "The face of a deserter."
With
everyone
judging him, he wants to make one thing clear. "I'm not afraid to
fight," he says. "I'm not a pacifist. If our country needed defending,
I'd be the first one to pick up a rifle. But I won't be part of a war
that I believe is criminal."
Watada
calls
himself "an ordinary American" and a patriot who unwittingly found
himself in a moral dilemma he could never have imagined when he first
put on a uniform 18 years ago. That's when the story begins, according
to his mother, Carolyn Ho, a high school counselor in Honolulu.
It
all started because she thought Cub Scout uniforms were cute.
THE
uniforms also
represented wholesome activity. Ho and her then-husband, Bob Watada,
wanted to keep their two young sons out of the malls and out of
trouble. Ehren was the thoughtful one; his older brother, Lorin, the
rambunctious one.
Ehren
thrived on
the order and discipline, and the little rewards that marked one's
ascension in the scouting ranks. "He was the sort who studied for every
merit badge possible," Ho says.
Thus
Watada's
kinship with the uniformed life was born. He went from Cub to Boy to
Eagle Scout, and he had an inkling as early as 15 that he would end up
in the armed forces.
As
an Eagle Scout, he got the idea of carving out a hiking trail on a
hillside abutting a neighborhood park in Honolulu.
Neighbors
privately snickered. Sure, kid. Go ahead. Good luck.
Ho
says she still
beams whenever she drives past the park today and she spots the trail
zigzagging up the hill. That's my son's work, she thinks. It took many
months. She'd never doubt his resolve again.
Ho
tells one
other story. At Kalani High School, where Watada was a four-sport
athlete, he reported a fellow football player who had been stealing
money from the cafeteria coffer. "He risked ostracism [as a snitch] in
a very small, tight-knit community," Ho says. "But he's like that, very
principled."
Ho
is calling
from a hotel in Indiana. Her ex-husband, Bob, is in a hotel in
Washington, D.C. Both parents have spent the last six months speaking
at schools and churches across the nation, telling their son's story
and lobbying the government to acquit him.
The
parents
shudder at the thought of their son behind bars. Invariably, both Ho
and Bob Watada entertain fleeting misgivings: Maybe joining Cub Scouts
was a mistake. Maybe, Bob Watada says, he should have tried harder to
persuade his son to simply go to Iraq and "lie low."
Lying
low is better than prison.
But
there's a counterpart to this parental protectiveness.
Rebecca
Davis, head of a Maine-based group called "Military Families Voice of
Victory",
prays every day for her son, Stuart, who is serving in Iraq. Davis has
publicly called Watada a traitor. "What he's done," she says, "is
embolden an enemy who is aiming for my son's head."
WATADA,
kneeling
on the carpet with an arm buried deep in an olive-green duffel,
explains his epiphany about the war in Iraq. It was the slo-mo kind,
not the brilliant flash of lightning in the night.
The
way he tells
it, the arc of his realization somewhat followed that of many
Americans. That is, he believed at the beginning but grew disillusioned
as the justifications for the war proved false and the strategy flawed.
In
2003, after
graduating near the top of his class at Hawaii Pacific University, he
walked into a recruiting station in Honolulu and hopscotched from
Officer Candidate School to his first tour of duty in Korea, where his
superiors rated him exemplary.
His
battalion
commander, whom Watada won't name so as not to drag him into his
predicament, spoke long and often of the paramount importance of
preparation.
"He
told us, 'If
you don't know all there is to know about your mission, you're failing
yourself and you're failing your soldiers,' " Watada says, still
kneeling. He folds his hands in front of him now and looks vaguely like
someone pleading or about to propose. "I took the lesson to heart."
So
when he was
reassigned to Ft. Lewis in early 2005 in anticipation of deploying to
Iraq, he did his job: He got to know everything there was to know about
Iraq. He spent nights online, read books, talked to combat veterans,
devoured media reports.
At
the end of
2005, he was convinced that the Bush administration had purposefully
manipulated intelligence to justify the invasion and that the
congressional approval of the war therefore was based on lies.
He
said he was so
anguished by his conclusion and the knowledge that he would soon be
"participating in the madness" that he grew deeply depressed. In
December 2005, he sought guidance from a chaplain and a mental-health
counselor. Neither helped. He considered filing for conscientious
objector status but couldn't in good conscience, he says, because he
does not oppose bearing arms.
"I
was in this
situation where I knew something was wrong," he says, still on his
knees, "but I was being forced to do it anyway. It felt like I was in
an invisible prison of my own making. It's a terrible place to be."
Then
it occurred
to him: He'd rather risk the other kind of prison. It would be
difficult but ultimately easier to live with. In January 2006, he
submitted a letter of resignation, he was refused, and the process
rolled inexorably to where it is today.
The
Army could
have chosen to accept Watada's resignation. Courtmartialing him,
however, sends a clear message to other officers thinking about defying
orders to deploy. During a preliminary hearing in August, Army
prosecutor Capt. Dan Kuecker called Watada's actions "dishonorable" and
"disgraceful."
For
his part,
Watada doesn't blame the Army as much as he blames the administration.
The Army does what it must to function. Military culture has always
presumed that individuals lose certain kinds of freedom when joining
the armed forces.
"The
idea is when
you put on a uniform, you put your personal opinions to the side," says
Kathleen Duignan, executive director of the National Institute of
Military Justice in Washington, D.C. A military could not be effective
if soldiers had the option to choose which wars to fight and which to
forgo.
Duignan
says the
best-known case that parallels Watada's occurred in 1965 during the
Vietnam War, when 2nd Lt. Henry Howe was caught participating in an
antiwar demonstration. The Army court-martialed Howe and sentenced him
to two years of hard labor.
Watada's
unit
deployed to Iraq last summer. He has been doing administrative work
ever since, barred from traveling farther than 250 miles from Ft.
Lewis. His life settled into a workaday routine — going to work, coming
home to his little apartment and wondering what the future holds.
Standing
up,
crossing his arms as if in defiance, he says he believes history will
absolve him no matter what happens in court this week.
At
the base,
there have been no blatant acts of hostility. "But, yes," Watada says,
"you can feel the seething just underneath."
During
what was
supposed to be a casual football scrimmage among officers late last
year, two majors "accidentally" broke Watada's nose. One major shoved,
the other smacked. Watada for weeks walked around with two black eyes,
a crooked beak and a sneaking hunch it was no accident.
But
what
encourages him is how much quiet support he receives from individual
soldiers. The support, he says, isn't showy. "Nobody wants any part of
me officially," he says, laughing that nervous laugh again. There are
the approving nods, the knowing glances, the subtle remarks about
hanging in there and keeping the chin up.
"It happens
almost every day," Watada says. And it makes him think that maybe, just
maybe, a whole lot of other uniformed souls feel the same way he does
and just haven't figured out a way to say so.
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